I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
