I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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