some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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