So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
