Me too!
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Randomize
