At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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