I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
