I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
