..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
