Buhtt sex?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
