i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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