Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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