Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I believe in your delicious
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
