also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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