why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
