My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
