So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woke up backwards on a recliner
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
