I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
