i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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