so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Randomize
