Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You smell like stripper and shame
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
