It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
