i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
