he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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