fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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