So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
