Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
