Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
