i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
