I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
