i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
