I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
