NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
