The maid of honor just puked.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
