I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
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