Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
