Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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