Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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