my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
