Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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