I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
