Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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