Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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