some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
please don't ironically join a cult
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