Where is the hickey?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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