that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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