everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
