Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
