The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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