Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
