So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
