i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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