I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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