Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Panties = found
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