Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
